Gently Landing on His Feet

Check out this email, sent to the BJx from a source buried deep inside Men's Journal:

Dear Staff,

Pinch hitting for the rest of this week here in research will be Scott Schilling, most recently of Stuff magazine (RIP).

Scott will be sitting in a spot TBD soon, and at scott.schilling@mensjournal.com.

Scott, welcome.

Yes, Scott. Welcome! Looks like MJ just picked off one of our top bowlers. But did he bring the hardboiled eggs?

Note: Due to the lack of an available photo of Scott Schilling, a different Scott Schilling is pictured.

Ballgoblin

1. A person who constantly eats balls.
2. An insult used to give the impression that one enjoys the act of eating balls.

No Go at Go-Go!

Time to tear up your free-topping coupons from Go-Go Curry...the darn things expired on Friday. I think everyone, including BJx Mets fans, best root for Matsui to hit some dingers. I want my free egg!

The Freelance Life: Help Me Feed My Family

So it's come this.

Do you hate animals? Do you have a friend who hates animals? I need to find someone willing to be interviewed about said hatred. So please, throw on your finest fur coat and let me know.

Also, I'm selling a butt plug. Gently used, dishwasher safe. $30 or best offer.

Dawgs Chew Out Cowboys 35-14

The Dawgs looked pretty tight in their home opener against Oklahoma State, just sayin'. Expect a full report from Between the Hedges when the BJx goes on the road to watch the Georgia Bulldogs take on the South Carolina Gamecocks this Saturday. Expect pictures of empty pairs of Bar-noculars and douchebag USC fans sporting hats emblazoned with the phrase, "Go Cocks."

Tune-In Alert

In a truly bittersweet moment, one of our own has moved on to bigger and better things. While I hate to drive traffic to his venture, please swing over to Curbed today to celebrate Joey "12 Posts A Day" Arak going full-time.

I suppose this poaching was inevitable, what with Joey's 400-word missives about vacuums and horrible mangling of the BJx's first and only caption contest.

You may have one this blogging battle, "Lockhart Steele," but you have not won the war.