The BJ Express: 07/31/07

Or should we say "doused"?

At approximately 7:17 p.m., our very own Rich went number one for the first time in the work day—and he might have set some sort of office-wide record in the process.

Have you ever held out longer? Let us know in the comments section.

Just Asking...

WHAT senior associate editor has had so few late nights in the office that he was completely unaware that we have to wait until 8 p.m. to order dinner? "We doing this Two Boots thing?" the SEA asked, full of agitation. When informed of the 8 p.m. rule, he responded with complete confusion. Looks like his boots are made for walking...out of the office early!

Someone's Got a Massive Queue

A certain resident of Millionaires Row has over 130 films on his Netflix queue. Hey Ebert, give us a break!

Name Game Formula: For Fans Only

A verse can be created for any name, with X as the name and (X−1) as the name without the first consonant sound, as follows:
(X), (X), bo-b(X−1)
Banana-fana fo-f(X−1)
Fee-fi-mo-m(X−1)
X!

Update: And if the name starts with a b, f, or m, that sound simply is not repeated. (For example: "Billy" becomes "Billy Billy bo-illy;" "Fred" becomes "banana fana fo-red;" "Marsha" becomes "fee fi mo-arsha.")
Playing the game with names such as "Chuck," "Buck," "Mitch," "Rich" or "Richie" results in profanity.

BJx Gear Auction Preview #3: Want to Drive?

"A hard drive? That's so fucking boring!" Oh is it, dumbass? Keep storing all your precious music, photos, resumes, etc. on your computer or laptop at home, and then when the hard drive crashes don't come crying to me. Back that shit up on this portable, external hard drive, which holds 500 gigs. Yes, 500 gigs. Do you know how many worthless pictures of your grandparents or headshots (Detwiler!) you'd have to stick on this to fill up 500 gigs? It also has a fingerprint reader for added security, not that you have to use it (but it's cool). Connects to your PC or Mac via USB for easy drag-and-drop file moving. This thing would run you $220 if you were paying full price. Read more here.

Preview #2: Polk Audio miDock
Preview #1: Sennheiser PXC450 headphones

EIC Looks to Avoid Headache

Upon being offered a snack from a bag of Gourmet Fishy Fish, our fearless leader asked the following: "These don't have aspartame in them, do they?"

And so it seems Bova has avoided a headache...for now. But as his beach vacation approaches, BJx operatives can't help but wonder if he'll be able to avoid eating any hot dog skins for one full week.

Millionares Row Awash In Bananas!

With five bananas sitting here waiting to be consumed, all of the unwashed masses are welcome to come on over and grab a delicious treat.

BJx Gear Auction Preview #2: What's Up, Dock?

Continuing our first look at items that will be auctioned off amongst the staff on Friday, let's have a peak at one of everyones' favorite accessories: iPod docks! This is the miDock, from upscale speaker manufacturer Polk Audio. It probably won't win any awards for styling, but it sounds solid, and Polk makes very reliable products. It folds flat for easy storage/transport, and is powered by A/C adaptor or 4 AA batteries, perfect for a day at the beach! This sucker usually goes for $120, but right now there's a $100 special on it. Read more here.

Preview #1: Sennheiser PXC450 headphones

Pat Counts Off His Six Salad Toppings on Fingers

Our mildly flustered entertainment director acquitted himself well during his first foray into the world of the six-topping salad. His one miscue? Adding walnuts instead of red onions. "My breath doesn't need to smell like onions anyway," he rationalized.

I Miss Carla

Just throwing that out there.

HEY IDIOTS!

Our HR coordinator ("Wha hoppen?") has this to say about Dennis's 401k program:

"The match for 2007 is $.50 on the dollar up to 6% of your eligible compensation." [emphasis ours.]

Apologies to those of you who have been throwing your money away by putting 7-15% into your 401k when you could have just saved that money and then put a few thou' into an S&P Index fund or two. Oh man...