Enter his blog 101
Friday, July 27, 2007
Next Week on the BJx
–Joey picks another nonsensical caption contest winner just to be contrarian.
–A new shipment of Jammie Dodgers leads to a very sore jaw for Rich.
–The BJx merch store unveils its new line of prophylactics and dental dams.
–Bova lectures me for not having direct deposit.
–Dame-O does the Dominican!
Don't miss a single post!
BJx Caption Contest Results!
3rd Place: "And somewhere, in the province of Quebec, a french fry covered in gravy and nestled next to some curds cried a single tear."—Failure's Orphan
2nd Place: "Nothing I can't ab-blast away in the morning."—Brooks Parkenridge
And the GRAND PRIZE WINNER: "We call these the 'Queen's Nipples' where i come from. I like this kind WAY better!"—HoudiniPunch
We're not really sure what it means, but congrats to HoudiniPunch for taking home the grand prize ... a bottle of Ciroc vodka!
Kelly Suspects Cupcake
The last cupcake was under heavy suspicion for damn near a minute before it was eaten. No more cupcakes remain.
A Message From Our Poll Winner
In a true nail-biter, Seth K. proved victorious in our most-missed former editor contest. We received a statement from this Southern gentleman/loyal BJx reader:
It's quite an honor to join "fish" in the BJx reader poll winner's circle. I guess fetching enough free cars, doling out iPods and having a mother who periodically mailed ham to the office can really pay dividends down the road. To Jeff and Sean I can only say good show. Thank you to all who voted for me. I am awash in glory.
Stay tuned for an exciting new poll next week!
UPDATE: Wild Hogs to be watched in daily installments?!
Rumor has it that the $168,005,066 smash hit Wild Hogs, now on DVD, will be shown in the office in seven 15-minute installments starting next week.
If true, this could be the most exciting thing to hit the office since Robert Wuhl's Assume the Position!
What the hell is that?
That is an aerial photo of THE SUMP. No, not an aerial photo of A sump. An aerial photo of THE sump located off Granny Road in Stuff EIC's home town of Farmingville, NY. If you look hard enough, you can see the shame of a young boy who lost his first rank-out contest. And some used condoms.
Thanks to Google Maps for satellite imagery!
The Greatest Album... EVER!
"A unique, hilarious & disturbing collection of letters written to page 3 girls and porn stars' ... so it says on the sleeve. 39 genuine letters that mysteriously came into the possession of the Trunk family. Recited by the legendary 'one take' Wisbey in the style of 40's movie star Carey Grant, funny accents, a few letters sang. The real stars are the authors, sad men never sounded so funny. Check 'Shawshank Redemption (Though It Isn't)', 'Don Male', and Martin's four letter marathon. Nice adolescent fun..."
Listen to 'Shawshank Redemption (But It Isn't)' by clicking here
The whole album is available from my 'personal folder' but beware, some of them are absolutely filthy.
your sincerely,
Lionel
Today is Truly a Day for Chocolate Rain
From Tay Zonday's MySpace blog:
So I was sitting in front of FL Studio today trying to figure out why in blazing heck it won't export the Chocolate Rain piano track to MIDI . . . because there are about 100 people who have asked for some source files so they can remix the song, most of whom I already lost track of . . . and it dawned on me: I am burnt out on music.
I take that back. I never burn out on music. I burn out on process.
Sad but true. Read more here.
Friday Morning Pop Quiz
Which BJX contrib went to California Pizza Kitchen last night, eating the shit out of both a Santa Fe Chicken 'za and a Carne Asada pie?
Here's a hint:
+
÷
= ???
Here's a hint:
+
÷
= ???
Hi, My name is...JASON!
BJx welcomes the newest member of the Stuff family, our new Production Editor, Jason Kass. Jason took time out from flat planning to answer some of our hard-hitting questions. Check it out!
STUFF: Where did you grow up?
JASON: Just northwest of Manhattan in a town called New City. Which I always found funny, given there was nothing new or city-like about it.
Do you have any siblings?
I have one brother. He looks just like me but about 40 pounds heavier. Picture me inflated by one of those old bicycle pumps. That’s him.
Where do you live?
An up-and-coming neighborhood west of Union Square. It's called Chelsea. It can get dangerous at night, and there aren’t very many good places to eat or hang out yet, but I'm told it's the next big thing.
What’s your favorite type of food?
I could never choose a favorite—it wouldn’t be fair to all the other foods that I eat. Though I will say that I've never met a burrito that I didn’t like.
Who’s your favorite cartoon animal?
I’m going to go with the skinny, head-banded cat on roller-skates from Heathcliff. Do you remember that show? It was kind of like Garfield but without Jon Arbukle. And there was always that weird sexual tension between Heathcliff and the pretty white cat that was so far out of his league.
Are you excited to work at Stuff?
It's no TeenVogue, but as a close second I’m stoked!
Reminder: Caption Contest Ends Today!
Almonds v. Walnuts
Today's the big day: Patrick must replenish his nut supply. But what will he choose? The BJx will update you the minute we know more.
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